Green With Evil
by Sideshow Bob Roberts
Summary: Agent P is sent out on yet another mission to stop his nemesis Dr. Doofenshmirtz from taking over the Tri-State Area with one of his diabolical plots. Written for the CWT Worst Enemies Challenge.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story or anything related to P&F within.**

**Enjoy...

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**Green With Evil**

Perry the Platypus, also known as Agent P, secret agent and pet platypus to the Flynn-Fletcher family, slid down the usual glass tube down to the meeting room, clutching his brown fedora so he didn't lose it. Just an average day for him: Meet with his boss, race to Doofenshmirtz, listen to an insane plot, fight and defeat with ease, then return home to sit by Phineas. He made it to the end of the tube, sliding out of it and landing on his feet, finding himself in the usual tech-clad meeting room. Agent P approached the giant computer screen and took a seat in the red swivel chair that was just a bit big for him.

The screen turned on and his white-haired boss, Major Monogram, stood there. He wasn't in his usual green uniform this day, but in very bright colored festive Mexican fiesta attire. Agent P sat there unphased by the odd attire and waited for him to notice the camera was on. Monogram danced a little before his eyesight was in line with the camera. When he did see that the red light was blinking, he coughed a little, nervously. "Agent P...I....ah...Carl, close up." The camera zoomed in on him to where he could be seen from the neck up. "Carl and I..."

A red-headed teen with glasses danced past the camera, music still playing in the background. "We're having a fiesta!"

"Anyway," Monogram grabbed a piece of paper that was near him, possibly having something of importance on it. Then again, it could've been to make him look professional. "Dr. Doofenshmirtz ordered a very rare plant from the Internet. It's on the way to his lair as we speak. We need you to stop him from harnessing whatever sort of chemical this plant contains by any means possible."

Agent P saluted Monogram and spun the chair around to face the elevators. He hopped off of it and ran as fast as he could to the opening elevators, which contained his scooter this time for a quick exit from the backyard.

Monogram looked around for a second before raising two maracas and grinning slightly. "Arriba." He shook them and ran off camera to join Carl in dancing to the music.

The elevator containing Agent P and his white scooter made its way up to the surface, popping up from the ground near the side of the Flynn-Fletcher household. Agent P poked his head around the corner of the house to see what Phineas and Ferb were doing, in case he was needed. The were just sitting there at the tree, not doing a thing. He hopped onto his scooter and tapped the computer screen on the dashboard. It beeped a few times and a tiny picture of Dr. Doofenshmirtz appeared on the map, located where his usual lair was. The platypus started up the scooter and drove out of the yard and onto the streets of Danville. Oddly enough, people didn't think twice about a platypus driving a scooter down the road when they saw him zoom by.

After listening to a song from Phineas and the Ferb-Tones on the radio, Agent P arrived at Doofenshmirtz's purple, clearly marked lair. On the side of it, however, he saw something that normally wasn't there: a greenhouse. Obviously it was about to be the home of Doof's new plant, Perry thought. He pulled out his grappling gun from seemingly nowhere and fired it at the roof. He made contact and pressed a button on the gun, reeling himself in towards the greenhouse.

_Doofenshmirtz Has A Greenhouse!_

When Agent P made it to the building and climbed up onto the ledge, he saw Heinz Doofenshmirtz signing the order form for the package, and the delivery man next to him.

The lanky doctor handed the clipboard back to the delivery man and waited anxiously for his package to be handed to him.

"Here you go." The delivery man practically tossed the package into Doof's hands, not really caring too much about the contents. "Hey, aren't you the guy who fell into that toilet in that video?"

Doofenshmirtz groaned loudly and pushed him near the door. "Yes, yes I am." He responded in his slightly odd sounding voice. "Thanks for bringin' that up!" After the delivery man was inside the building, Doofenshmirtz closed the doors before he could say anything else about the video. "I hate the Internet..." He turned a round and to his surprise, though it really shouldn't be, he saw Agent P standing there. "Oh, Perry the Platypus. Hello. I see you found my greenhouse." Doofenshmirtz started to open the package, but Agent P jumped into the air and snatched it from his hands. "What are you doing?" He spun around and watched as Agent P opened the box. "It's not polite to pilfer a person's package, Perry the Platypus! Wow...that was a mouthful. Anyway, it's nothing evil, it's a plant."

Agent P removed the contents of the package and saw that it was nothing but a potted plant. Could've been an error with Monogram's report or something, but just to make sure, he took out a device and held it to the plant. The small, square remote beeped slightly and after a few seconds a voice responded with : "Not Evil."

"See? Like your little thingy there said 'Not Evil'. Now give me back my plant, Perry the Platypus." Agent P reluctantly handed the plant over to Doofenshmirtz, still unsure of his motives. "If you want to see something evil, come with me!" Doofenshmirtz grabbed a remote that was in the right pocked of his white lab coat and pressed the button, which opened the doors to the greenhouse. The two entered it and all around them were various plants and the occasional butterfly in it. The two walked near the center of the greenhouse and Doofenshmirtz set the small potted plant down on a nearby table. "There you go." He tapped a leaf of it slightly and turned around to face his nemesis. "So, Perry the Platypus, here is my evil creation!" He once again pressed a button on the remote and a large laser came up from the ground. The ceiling of the greenhouse moved, so that it would be able to fire upon Danville.

"Behold! My Plant-inator!" Heinz approached the laser, which had glowing green tubes around it, which got smaller as they led up to the tip of the device. "With this, I will turn every building in the tri-state area into leafy greens!" He rose his hands to the sky and let out an evil laugh, in true evil villain form. Although the moment was hardly maniacal laugh-worthy. Agent P simply stared at him, not really getting the whole idea of this. He saw the self destruct button and started to walk towards it. "Not so fast, Perry the Platypus!"

A vine from one of the walls reached out and grabbed ahold of Perry's leg, causing him to fall to the ground. Three more shot out and restrained him, eventually pulling him up against the wall.

Doofenshmirtz crossed his arms and smiled at this, once again, but most likely temporarily, trapping his nemesis. "Like the restraining vines? I got it from some comic book I stole from a kid one day. Who knew it would be a good read _and_ be useful! Anyway," The man walked over to the laser and leaned up against it, nearly pressing the self-destruct button by accident. "There was one more part to my plan, but I didn't get to tell you because I was so rudely interrupted," He said,an evil grin starting to grow. "When all the buildings are made of leafy greens..." He paused, apparently listening to a dramatic reverb that only he could hear as a secret wall in the back of the greenhouse opened, revealing a cage of rabbits. "...I will unleash thousands and thousands of cute little bunny rabbits who will then eat the buildings. People will have to come to me, because I will corner the market with my next invention: Building-For-You-inator...or...something."

He tapped his chin in thought, slightly confused with his own plan. "I don't really know what to call it yet, because I haven't even made it yet. But when I do, I'll sell them to people for a million dollars each! And after a few, maybe I'll lower the price, because by then I'll already be rich. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it." The laser began to hum a little, and a liquid inside the green tubes began to flow. "Now, Perry the Platypus, watch as I turn Danville into...uh...green..." Doofenshmirtz's moment suddenly turned sour, as he managed to forget his evil monologue. He waved his hand and began to walk away from Perry, to get the laser ready. "Well, you know what I mean!"

Agent P, seemingly doomed, glanced around the room for something, anything that could aid him in defeating Doof. Not much was there at his disposal, just a few dozen plants, the un-reachable self destruct button on the laser, a harmless butterfly floating around and the release button on the rabbit cage. But like the laser's destruction mechanism, he was unable to push the button because of the vines constricting him.

The spy platypus lowered his head a little, seemingly defeated. The harmless little butterfly floated over to him and landed on the middle of his bill. Agent P looked at the creature and spotted a tiny little fedora on its head. His eyes widened a little, realizing that Monogram must have sent an undercover agent in, just in case the plant, which was actually harmless, became too much for him to handle. The butterfly flew off of his bill and landed on the upper left vine that was constricting one of the platypus's arms. The vine began to quiver slightly, as if it was being tickled by the butterfly. Eventually it released its hold on that arm and retreated.

Doof heard the sound of the vine slithering away back to its roots and quickly spun to face his enemy, who was pulling the vines off of his other arm and legs. "Perry the Platypus? How did you escape my trap?!" Before he could attack him, though, his question was quickly answered when the butterfly flew into his face, startling him and causing him to stumble backwards. The butterfly remained in his face as the two were, sort of, fighting towards the rabbit cages. Doof was putting up the fight, as he was swatting like crazy to get rid of the secret agent butterfly, though his attempts did not succeed.

After about a minute of that he was backed into the wall. His eyes were shut as he frantically swatted faster to get rid of the butterfly, who by now was gone. "Go away, shoo, get away!" He slowly opened his eyes upon realizing that there was nothing there anymore. "Whoo...glad that's--" The door to the rabbit cage swung open, the door pinning him to the wall in one quick swing. The butterfly that he was battling had backed him right up against the release button of the cages. The rabbits didn't move though, not exactly sure what to do. "--over."

Agent P walked over to the Plant-inator, which was still charging and humming even louder, and aimed it right at Doofenshmirtz. He pressed the button that fires the device, sending a green ray at the trapped and frightened Doof.

Doofenshmirtz, after being hit with his own invention's ray, managed to get the cage door off of himself. He looked at his hands to see that they were now green and leafy, just what the device was meant to do to the buildings. Only it was turned against him, making him, quite literally, a vegetable. He laughed a little, thinking that wasn't much of an effort on his nemesis' part. "Really, Perry the Platypus? Is that the best you can do?" He stepped out and in front of the cage, showing himself to many hungry rabbits.

Agent P smiled a little, and pointed to the drooling rabbits behind him. He gave a salute and jumped out of the window of the greenhouse. After a bit of free-falling, he activated a sort of mini-chopper device in his hat that allowed him to fly away safely.

"Oh.....right...." Doofenshmirtz looked over his shoulder and saw that one of the rabbits was on its hind legs and walking towards him. "Hungry rabbits. Not good for me I'm afraid..." The rabbit held out one of its paws and squeaked a little, presumably meaning 'Charge!', because that's exactly what every single rabbit that was trapped did. They all ran after Doofenshmirtz, who in turn was running towards the Plant-inator, as fast as they could. He climbed up on top of his device, hoping to get the high ground and avoid being eaten by the rabbits. They did their best to jump up and grab a bite, but none of them succeeded.

One of them, however, accidentally hit the self-destruct button. Doofenshmirtz felt the machine rumbling. "Great...once again I put a self-destruct button on one of my inventions." He pulled off a leaf from his jacket and took out a pen from his lab coat pocket. He began to write on the leaf. "Note to self...stop making self destruct buttons."

As the machine rumbled louder and louder, the "leader" rabbit once again stood on his hind legs and motioned for them to run out the door to safety. Doofenshmirtz watched as all of the rabbits made a quick escape from the doomed greenhouse. "Wait for me, rabbits!" He tried to get off of the laser, but his shoelace was stuck on part of the machine. "Oh, come on!" He pulled harder, trying to get himself loose. "I just replaced that...that...whatever it was called!"

The machine started to count down from ten, signaling the end was near. Doof was no longer pulling, but contemplating the word that he couldn't remember. "It started with an 'A'..." The machine made its way to 'Three, two', when Doofenshmirtz snapped his fingers in remembrance. "Aglet!" The Plant-inator exploded, taking the greenhouse down and shattering the glass to millions of pieces, as well as sending the defeated, and charred, Dr. Doofenshmirtz flying into the air.

He quickly flew over the downtown area, and also over some residential areas. One in particular he saw a tree and, what looked like to him, two tiny ants with orange and green hair. "Curse you--" He hit an odd metallic object that was a dark shade of gray with various flashing lights on its round body. "Ow! Curse you Perry the Platypus!" He shouted as he clung for dear life onto the machine that was rocketing into the air.

Far below, a young boy said, "Oh, there you are Perry."


End file.
